…the prodigal returns

Back where we came from, reluctant returnees.

Thoughts on Mother’s Day

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It’s American Mother’s Day today. It follows UK Mother’s Day (March) and Spanish Mother’s day (last Sunday), so in theory I could celebrate 3 times! It gets confusing sometimes.

Mother's Day card

Mother’s Day card (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today is a day that always brings back memories of my mother. She is no longer here to receive a Mother’s Day card (which I always had to purchase in March, when the English cards were available to be purchased!!), but I miss her still, every day.

I also paused to think about my daughter, who will become a mother herself quite soon.

Daughters are very hard on their mothers – I should know, because I was hard on my own mother. In thinking about it, I believe girls go through a stage in their very young years, where they adore their mother unconditionally. Then come the teenage years, where you constantly argue with her, and you think she knows nothing. She always did everything wrong as a mother, as far as you were concerned.

Then, hopefully anyway, you reach your adult years, where you again adore your mother. But this is a more mature love, where you see her flaws, you know she has made mistakes, and you love her all the same. That’s a real love.

I thought girls reached this final stage in their 20’s, but I think it has more to do with becoming a mother yourself. When you have your own child, you realize that the choices you make for them aren’t always easy or clear cut. You make mistakes, despite your best intentions. And so you eventually come to know that your own mother didn’t actually do such a bad job herself.

I’ve talked a lot about motherhood with my daughter since she found out she was pregnant. As my own mother told me so many years ago, I told that the instant maternal love the books all tell you about doesn’t always happen – it often takes weeks or months to love your child. But that’s ok, because mothers are in it for the long haul.

I also said that she is due for a big dose of guilt once she has that baby – no matter what, you always feel you could (or should) be doing something better. But like me, and  my mother before me, she will do the best she can, and more than likely, that baby will turn out just fine.

And maybe one day, my daughter herself will realize that her own mother didn’t do such a bad job after all. I look forward to that day!

Author: Ann Larson

One-time IT executive who lives on a 22 acre olive farm in Spain with husband Kenton and 2 boxer dogs. We make Yunquera Gold olive oil, and soap and skincare products from same. We aim to make natural, fresh, and handmade products at affordable prices!

4 thoughts on “Thoughts on Mother’s Day

  1. Hi Ann.

    This is a perfect Mother’s Day post.

    I, like you, miss my mother too. I am glad this is just a day out of the year, but then, I am also glad there is a day out of the year devoted solely to the women that worked so hard at being our mothers. It could not have been an easy job.

    Congratulations to you for the grandchild on the way!

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    • Hi Mary, thanks for the kind comments. I think how my mom raised 5 children, and I’m in awe! Looking forward to becoming a grandmother, perhaps time for me to have a few wise words of my own!

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  2. Mother’s Day is a good time for reflection. So much of who we are as adults is due to our mother’s influence. I am fortunate that my mom is still alive and I recently was able to spend a week with her. I don’t remember any time that we were actually at “war” with one another–I think my transition to adulthood was relatively smooth. But I do remember appreciating her a lot more once I became a mother myself! My relationship with my own daughter was very similar. She was a very easy child to raise–it was my son who was the difficult child. It wasn’t until his college years that he realized that maybe I really did know a thing or two. Now I couldn’t be more proud of him as a dad. He is amazing with his own little girl. He and Amber just made me a grandmother again this past Monday. Baby Milo is in the NICU with breathing problems and needs heart surgery as soon as his lungs will allow it. Once again I am so proud of how my “baby boy” is handling this unexpected crisis in their lives. I look forward to meeting my new grandson later this week and helping out any way that I can.

    Congratulations on your expected grandchild. Becoming a grandparent really is the cherry on top of life!

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    • Kathi, thank you for posting! I am so sorry to hear about your new grandson’s problems, but hopefully with good doctoring and the love of his family he will come through with flying colors! I’m so looking forward to a grandchild, but I can see from your post that it’s over-optimistic of me to expect it to be worry-free. x

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