A highland fling

our wee adventure on the Black Isle

The IKEA experience


Now admit it – you don’t really like shopping at IKEA do you? Hm, methinks that there must be something suspect about anyone who actually enjoys this very odd store!

OK, so the products are kinda funky. And cheap enough to be tempting, too. But come on, doesn’t just the thought of going there give you a headache?

We were there yesterday, denying our instincts to the contrary. Just couldn’t resist getting some of their cheap and cheerful wine glasses, and a new rug for in front of the fireplace. (Nephew coming to visit, MUST CLEAN! MUST HAVE MATCHING GLASSES!) We only had a few things to get. No need to get into a tizzy over it, right?

Well, you walk into the store and it starts. A nice lady tells you the Rules For Shopping At IKEA. No shopping carts upstairs. You must follow the arrows on the floor. (Believe me, you’d better follow those arrows – one step off the path and you are lost in the bowels of IKEA forever!)

So despite the fact we can see the kitchen stuff from the front door, we have to traipse all over the entire store, following the arrows. By the time we are halfway through, we have lost the will to live. Kenton bravely resists his usual IKEA mantra of “f*** it, let’s just leave the stuff here and go”. We carry on following the arrows.

OK, 45 minutes after entering the store, we’re there. Buy the wine glasses. Buy some water glasses. Go to checkout. Find out that the Express line does not mean “you only have a few items”, but means “you have to scan the items yourself”. OK, no problem, but the ‘self serve’ area has an IKEA soldier at the ready – making sure you scan the items correctly, don’t try to steal anything, and pay for your items. One wonders, in this case, why not just have a cashier to do all this for you like in normal stores?

The logic escapes me. I am sure this store is not really owned by Swedes – they are pretty nice, logical people and not generally into death-by-shopping, I’m sure!

Author: Ann Larson

One-time IT executive who lives on a 22 acre olive farm in Spain with husband Kenton and 2 boxer dogs. We make Yunquera Gold olive oil, and soap and skincare products from same. We aim to make natural, fresh, and handmade products at affordable prices!

4 thoughts on “The IKEA experience

  1. If you look closely I am sure you will find ‘shopping at IKEA’ on Dubya’s list of approved CIA tortures. If it isn’t it bloody well ought to be !


  2. No no Anne, that’s not how its done!
    Go through the main door and turn left, past the coffee machine tht never works. Pick up a jar of gravad lax sauce. Superb with a cut-price pack of Lidle’s smoked salmon you can pick up on your way home. Then the wrong way through the wide checkout isle and straight to the discounts stall. Fantastic bargains. We have got most of our bookshelves there and some great linen and lamps (am I staring to sound like a scrounging Brit?). If you need kitchen ware, its just round the corner. The point is, you feel completely in CONTROL!!!!


  3. I’ve never been in an IKEA. Sounds like fun! But I agree with Kenton, I think being forced to follow the arrows would drive me crazy.

    Just wait till we go to the Mall of America — at least there won’t be arrows there!